Bobby F’s NFL Week 17 Power Rankings
The last power rankings of the year is always the most difficult once you get by the top teams. For starters, since this is based on a mixture of both past performance and future expectation, you reach that crossroad where you can make an argument for ranking Denver better than a team like Philly, who has been eliminated from the playoffs. Finally, this is the last hurrah for me. After 3+ years of doing these I’ve squeezed every last Big Ben rape joke out that I can. So this is it for me. Unless Big Ben gets another sexual assault charge over the summer I’m not coming back. On to the rankings:
1) Packers- If I’m the Packers, I’m playing the majority of my starters still this week. Putting an extra week off is a recipe to get too much rest and come out rusty in the Divisional Round. I also want 1 more win from these guys for my FFS portfolio.
2) Saints- Not buying this “the Saints should be considered 1A” crap at the moment. Sure they’ve looked great and Brees has had a historically great season but good luck winning two road games especially if you somehow get stuck with the Lions in the first round of the playoffs (I believe this is the scenario that happens if Atlanta wins and Detroit loses this weekend.)
3) Patriots- On the positive side: they’ve won a league high 7 in a row. On the negative side: those wins have come against Mark Sanchez, Tyler Palko, Vince Young, Dan Orlovsky, Rex Grossman, Tim Tebow and Matt Moore. I’m pretty sure none of these guys should be starting Quarterbacks in the NFL.
4) 49ers- I don’t think you are winning a Super Bowl when your kicker sets the season record for field goals. Just shows how inept this offense is when it matters.
5) Ravens- When you are 3-4 on the road and 8-0 at home, I’d say it’s pretty important that you lock up the 2 seed. Will not be easy this weekend with a frisky Bengals team.
6) Steelers- See above. I think Big Ben might have two wins in him in the AFC Playoffs but I think asking him to win 3 in 3 weeks on a bum ankle and all on the road is to tall of a task.
7) Lions- Congratulations to the Lions and their fans for making the playoffs. Also, congratulations on not being Vikings fans.
Falcons- Look at it this way Falcons fan, if you do end up with the 6 seed, it’s really hard to beat a team in your division 3 times, right?
9) Texans- Hard to pin that Colts loss on anyone other than Gary Kubiak.
10) Giants- Sorry Giants fans, I can’t root for you this weekend for two reasons. 1) I’ve seen Giants fans jump off the bandwagon on two major occasions this year. 1) After the Philly loss and 2) After the Redskins loss. And..
11) Cowboys- Let’s face it. The thought of Romo shitting all over himself in the playoffs sounds far more entertaining than Romo shitting all over himself in Week 17.
12) Eagles- I’m not sure if Andy Reid really would have ever left but can we all agree he definitely comes back now next year? Eagles owners are now looking at a small loss versus a huge loss.
13) Jets- Look Mark Sanchez sucks, I’ve said this for a few years but how on earth in your biggest game of the year do you have him throwing the ball 59 times?
14) Bengals- Jerome Simpson somehow managed to win Play of the Year and Arrest of the Year all in the same season. Impressive.
15) Chargers- Rumors are that Dean Spanos is open to bringing back Norv and AJ for another year. I’m elated.
16) Broncos- Apparently Jesus got put on IR this weekend. Broncos owners aren’t feeling the love at the moment.
17) Titans- I don’t care how it happens but someone in the convoluted AFC Wildcard playoff picture has to win so we have no chance of the Jets of making the playoffs. I need the Titans to win to get a second team in the playoffs for my big FFS league.
18) Raiders- We MIGHT get a Carson Palmer playoff game versus the loser of the AFC North. Somehow this is almost going to feel like that Saints-Seahawks game last year where everyone and their mother bet on the Saints.
19) Seahawks- For all the shit I give the NFC West, outside of some pretty awful QB play, this division ended up being a pleasant surprise this year between the 9ers, Seahawks and Cardinals. At the same time, it’s pretty hard to get excited about the Seahawks future for a Super Bowl (they could easily make the playoffs) with the current QB situation on the roster.
20) Panthers- Hard to believe this but the Panthers are only a couple of defensive pieces away from being a threat in the NFC. At the same time a sophomore slump from Cam Newton could deter FFS owners from picking these guys too early next year.
21) Cardinals- What is there a better chance of, Kevin Kolb becoming an upper tier NFL QB or going an entire season where Beanie Wells doesn’t show up on the Injury Report less than 4 times.
22) Dolphins- I actually think the Dolphins will knock off the Jets at home this weekend.
23) Bears- Should be a fun offseason for the Bears with Matt Forte trade demands. Bears owners have to be real disappointed after such a great start.
24) Chiefs- Really enjoyed how the Chiefs fans got sucked right back into this season only to have a blocked field goal end the dream.
25) Redskins- Congrats to the Redskins. By injuring AP they guaranteed there will be 1 team in the NFC with a worse offense than them to start next season.
26) Bills- I think the Bills take a wildcard next season with a healthy Fred Jackson and a little bit of help from the schedule (that Week 10 through Week 14 stretch was brutal)
27) Vikings- Between Peyton Hillis and Toby Gerhardt, we should have two starting white Tailbacks next year in the NFL. Next up, let’s get another white corner! The Vikings are a prime candidate to be picked 32 in most FFS drafts next year.
28) Browns- Bad week to be a Browns fan. Matt Barkley going back to school puts their chances of getting a QB in peril. I see the Redskins making an aggressive push to move into the Vikings or Rams slot.
29) Colts- This is like a Greek tragedy right now with the Colts doing the honorable thing and playing out the schedule and potentially setting back their franchise a decade after Peyton Manning leaves. Colts FFS owners aren’t complaining though.
30) Jaguars- Congrats to Maurice Jones Drew on your rushing title. Unfortunately the rest of your career is about to be wasted with Blaine Gabbert.
31) Bucs- The only coach that gets away with having his team quit the way the Bucs have is Norv Turner. I like the Bucs to clean house. Scary thing if you have free agents on your team this offseason as the Bucs and Jags both have a ton of money to spend to get up the salary cap floor.
32) Rams- Dear Chiefs fans, Josh McDaniels is soon to be your problem. Rams owners have taken a bath this season.
Bob Futon’s Week 15 Power Rankings!
Has there been a single week this season where at least one NFC East team didn’t make their fans miserable with the way they lost? As a fan you are never happy when your team loses but the way the Cowboys, Eagles and Giants and to a lesser extent the Redskins, have found ways to lose has been amazing so far. Kudos. Also, congrats to the AFC West where somehow the Chargers are still alive and maybe someone can make the “Hey Gary Kubiak turned it around, why can’t Norv argument” so Norv survives another year in San Diego. On to the rankings:
1. Packers- I think Aaron Rodgers is 9-5 with the Patriots defense (just saying.) Hard to complain about the Packers if you are an FFS owner with that 13-1 record.
2. Saints- Huge blow to the Saints long term playoff aspirations with San Fran’s win last night. At this rate they will have to handle Detroit at home (they will at least beat you up) and then fly across the country to play San Francisco. I think both of those games are winnable but to have to then go and beat Green Bay seems a bit farfetched.
3. Patriots- When I heard the fake rumor that Bon Jovi died, I just assumed that Belichick had sacrificed him to beat Jesus.
4. 49ers- Impressive defensive performance without Patrick Willis last night (yeah I know Big Ben was banged up) but that’s not San Fran’s fault. The one reason the 49ers can’t beat the Packers? That pathetic red zone offense. Good luck beating Green Bay when you settle for 3 every time.
5. Ravens- Minus their showing against Pittsburgh, it appears the Ravens are a very mediocre team when playing on the road.
6. Steelers- How sexy is a Big Ben vs. Tebow matchup in the 1st round of the playoffs? Oh and insert joke about the power being off and Big Ben being in the building here.
7. Texans- Our first, can they really do this with TJ Yates as their Quarterback game. Still like the Texans to get to 12 wins but sitting in the 3 seed means having to first get through the second AFC Wildcard team and then having to go INTO Baltimore. That is not a good proposition. Texans owners are still hoping to get a bye and that extra FFS point.
8. Falcons- Julio Jones performance Thursday night might have mattered if his hamstring hadn’t already kept a lot of teams out of fantasy playoffs.
9. Lions- Pretty good matchup with a hot San Diego team this week. I would not want to have to win on the road in Green Bay in week 17, even if they might now be resting most of their guys.
10. Cowboys- Eagles and Cowboys Saturday at 4:15. I can’t decide if I want the Eagles season to be ruined or if I want Dallas to have to sweat 8 days going into that Giants game.
11. Jets- I still think this is where Todd Haley ends up, Brian Schottenheimer extension be damned. Rex and Haley would be fun together.
12. Giants- Now that Rodgers has lost, can we open up the MVP conversation to include Eli? Wait? The Giants lost to the Redskins? Eli threw 3 picks? But I thought you couldn’t spell ELITE without Eli? What happened? !!!!!
13. Broncos- Leave it to the team of the last decade to expose a false prophet. Broncos owners still have plenty to celebrate on Tebow’s birthday Sunday.
14. Eagles- With all the explosive weapons the Eagles have, wouldn’t you rather play the Giants or Cowboys in the playoffs instead of these guys? Sure, they are by far and away the most gutless and inconsistent of the three, but it’s tough to matchup with these guys when they are healthy.
15. Chargers- Insert Chargers where I had Eagles in the above. Insert Denver and Oakland where I had Giants and Cowboys. Rinse. Repeat.
16. Bengals- Terrible night for the Bengals as well. Best case scenario was the Steelers won and Baltimore takes Week 17 off to rest for the first round. Now they will get 100% of Baltimore in Week 17.
17. Seahawks- Seattle’s defense singlehandedly turned the tide of a couple fantasy playoff games. Pretty proud of my 4th round Seahawks vulture pickup.
18. Cardinals- There are like 15 different things that need to happen but we are 1 week away from possibly having an 8-7 Cardinals team playing an 8-7 Seahawks team in a game that would have playoff implications. These are the things that happen in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. If you read this space 2 weeks ago and the Cardinals were on the waiver wire, you’d have a little more cash in your pocket.
19. Raiders- How does that Carson Palmer trade look now?
20. Titans- Let the Jake Locker Era begin! It probably should have begun a few weeks ago.
21. Dolphins- The frisky Dolphins have the ability to still make a large impact on the AFC Playoff race. They could A) knock New England out of the top seed this weekend- very possible with the Patriots possibly having a letdown after beating Jesus. B) They could knock the Jets out of the playoffs in Week 17. I think one of these happens.
22. Panthers- This is going to be a tricky team to figure out in 2012 FFS Drafts.
23. Bears- Obviously this low due to all the injuries. The good news is Jay Cutler’s thumb should be heal up in time for his wedding.
24. Redskins- A couple solid performances in a row from the Skins. After pushing New England to the limit they go in and deal a significant blow to the Giants playoff hopes.
25. Chiefs- I think Romeo just earned that job.. Next up? Josh McDaniels offensive coordinator time!
26. Vikings- Worst ranking of the week, these guys should be much lower. What exactly have these guys done to be ranked better than a half dozen teams? FFS owners have the Vikings ranked lower.
27. Bills- That Ryan Fitzpatrick contract might be Buffalo’s worst decision since Rob Johnson.
28. Jaguars- I guess I will give it one more year but Blaine Gabbert does not look like “the guy” at QB. The good news is this seems like a great landing spot for Tebow in 2013 after Elway kicks him out of Denver.
29. Browns- The Browns offense might suck, but Greg Little owners are rejoicing if they had him in the #3 WR Slot this week.
30. Bucs- I think Raheem Morris has to go, these guys have looked awful this year.
31. Rams- I mean, Sam Bradford has no trade value unless he restructures his contract right? I think the Rams have to ride this out but it’s going to be tough to pass on the QBs in this year’s class.
32. Colts- As a Patriots fan, I really hope Jim Caldwell is brought back for another year. Colts owners get a little bit of money!
Futon’s NFL POWER RANKINGS
The power of Christ compels you Marion Barber. Bears fans, please don’t blame your running back for those mental gaffes at the end of that game. Just remember that God works in mysterious ways. On to the rankings:
1. Packers- I still say either the Lions or Bears knock these guys off in the final 2 weeks of the season.
2. Steelers- Tough decision for Pittsburgh here. Play Big Ben the rest of the way and continue to try and go for the #1 ranking in the AFC or rest him and get him fully healthy for the playoffs but likely be faced with 3 road playoff games.
3. Saints- A Pittsburgh win could potentially force the Saints to only have to win one non-dome playoff game in Green Bay on the road to the Super Bowl. Homefield matters more for the Saints than any other Super Bowl contender at this point.
4. Ravens- Need to avoid a slip up on the road to in San Diego this week or in Cincy in Week 17 to finally have the playoffs go through Baltimore. If Baltimore ends up with homefield over Pittsburgh, I like switching where the Ravens and Steelers stand based on long term potential.
5. Texans- TJ Yates picked up a significant amount more believers with his road comeback in Cincy this week. The top 3 seeding in the AFC starts to get into some very complex tiebreakers here if the Texans, Ravens and Patriots win out.
6. Patriots- When your formula to winning a Super Bowl is basically holding teams to a field goal 75% of the time and a touchdown 25% of the time (yes, we really just plan on the Patriots defense stopping no one at this point) and your offense scoring a touchdown 50% of the time and a field goal 25% of the time (with being stopped that other 25%.) Your long term playoff prospects are probably dim.
7. 49ers- I’d give Atlanta and Detroit both significant chances of going into San Fran and winning a 1st round playoff game versus Alex Smith.
8. Falcons- Tough year to be a Head Coach in the NFC South. First, Sean Payton’s ACL issue, then there was Raheem Morris dying in the middle of the season and now Mike Smith almost had a heart attack on the plane ride back. Look out Ron Rivera.
9. Lions- That might have been the ugliest Lions win of the year so far. The Lions definitely have the toughest 3 game stretch of any NFC contender left to go. It kind of feels like the 2nd NFC wildcard gets in at 9-7.
10. Giants- If Eli Manning gets into Canton, I’m just glad Cowboys fans will get to sit in disgust with Patriots fans when watching the highlight tape. Normally Rob Ryan only gets torn up like that when he takes in too many Dairy products.
11. Jets- Slowly sneaking up on the AFC playoff picture. Tell you what, I like the Jets as a 6 seed versus Houston and don’t even get me started on the Jets as a 6 seed versus New England.
12. Cowboys- When you don’t believe, unbelievable things also happen.
13. Broncos- I mean this is finally the week these guys get drilled, right?
14. Titans- Way too early to provide any evidence on this one, but I feel like Sunday’s Jake Locker 2 minutes is going to be a microcosm for his whole career. And I base this on absolutely nothing but my belief that Jake Locker will be a frustrating NFL QB.
15. Raiders- Remember when I dissed everyone saying the Raiders were a sexy pick to win the AFC? Why don’t you go get your shinebox before you complain about all your injuries.
16. Bengals- I’m not quite sure why you have all your linebackers sit 5 yards back in the end zone so Kevin Walter can Wes Welker you at the end of that game.
17. Bears- I bet you Tony Romo would be playing with that thumb injury Jay Cutler has.
18. Chargers- We are a Chargers upset over the Ravens and a Broncos loss over the Pats away from NORVVVVVVVVV charging into the playoff picture.
19. Seahawks- These guys are really difficult to run against and they run the football well. That’s actually a good recipe to beat bad football teams.
20. Eagles- And while we are talking about crazy scenarios, do you realize the Eagles are not eliminated from winning the NFC East yet? Hang with me here, Cowboys lose to Bucs and then Eagles (with Romo anything is possible) and then the Giants lose to the Jets and Cowboys in Week 17. Eagles win out. Eagles finish 8-8 and win the division based on a 5-1 in division record. Stranger things have happened.
21. Cardinals- Arizona over San Fran was the easiest upset on the board this week. I just didn’t expect that comeback to be led by John Skelton.
22. Dolphins- Somehow I think we see Tony Sparano coach somewhere again and have success.
23. Panthers- I think this season has been as much as Carolina fans could hope for. You’ve been competitive in countless games, yet at 4-9 you still will get the premium draft pick. I think I’d rather have my team go 5-11 or 6-10 then go 8-8.
24. Redskins- That London Fletcher Personal Foul call on Tom Brady was the worst call I’ve ever seen in an NFL game.
25. Bills- Note to Buffalo. Find a way to win on the road in 2012.
26. Jaguars- Maurice Jones Drew is easily your first round Fantasy Football playoffs MVP for leagues that use a wildcard.
27. Browns- I still feel like this team firing Eric Mangini was a huge mistake.
28. Vikings- So does this mean we can start to see a Joe Webb-Christian Ponder QB controversy?
29. Chiefs- Speaking of Mangini, how awesome of a coaching hire would it be if Scott Pioli hired him after Spygate? Additionally, I know I will be the only one to say this but it seems like Josh McDaniels is getting a little bit of a bad rap. If he’s not the guy making the personnel decision, I like him a lot better. And trying to blame the Rams offensive woes solely on him this year is just dumb. With a short training camp, a 2nd year QB (who was hurt most of the year) and literally the worse receiving corps I’ve ever seen (prior to trading for Brendan Lloyd) I’m giving McD a mulligan on this one. Plus, he was smart enough to draft Jesus.
30. Bucs- Can they bring back Jon Gruden? Has any team been more disappointing with less excuses than the Bucs this year?
31. Rams- I like all the Robert Griffin the III talk to the Rams and that they are going to give up on Sam Bradford. Awesome. By the way, isn’t the Rams perfect scenario that Barkley and RG III come out and they are inundated with trade offers from the Browns, Chiefs (not as likely), Redskins and possibly the Dolphins with multiple picks for the #2 pick? I mean, I love Justin Blackmon but the Rams have way more holes than just receiver.
32. Colts- Hoosiers beat Kentucky!
Bobby F’s NFL Power Rankings
Congratulations to the NFC this week. With 5 teams fighting for 3 spots, the Cowboys, Giants, Bears, Falcons and Lions all managed to lose. Impressive. On to the rankings:
1) Packers- These guys are pretty good.
2) Saints- It remains to be seen whether or not this is a championship caliber defense but the offense can clearly go pound for pound with Green Bay.
3) Ravens- The Ravens improvement in the secondary this season accounts for the reason they are fighting for the #1 seed instead of getting relegated to Wild Card status.
4) Steelers- Pittsburgh has 3 gimmies on the schedule left but next week’s tilt with San Francisco becomes a must win if they want to have a home game in the playoffs this year.
5) 49ers- The next 3 games should be a good measuring stick. At a much improved Cardinals team, home vs. Pittsburgh and then the always difficult road trip to Seattle. 3-1 down the stretch will give these guys a 1st round bye. 49ers owners are smitten at the moment.
6) Patriots- At this point in time, I’m waiting for Welker to come out and be a nickel back one week.
7) Texans- Impressive win against Atlanta this week with TJ Yates at the helm. Interesting test versus a real defense this week in Cincinnati, who could be a 1st round playoff opponent.
Falcons- In the battle of attrition that is the NFC Wildcard, the Falcons get the edge since they are the healthiest team left.
9) Cowboys- Even a stoned college kid playing Madden knows that you call a timeout there with 26 seconds left. Nice second level coaching by Jason Garrett to ice his own kicker.
10) Jets- I was beginning to think Shonn Greene didn’t even know where the end zone was. Jets FFS owners are still hoping for a playoff berth.
11) Lions- It should be exciting to see a year-end montage of all the Personal Foul penalties this team has committed throughout 2011. They likely sneak into the playoffs due to how decimated the Bears are but there is no way these guys go on the road and win a playoff game with how dumb this team is.
12) Giants- I’m not sure Will Blackmon could cover Big East wide receivers let alone Packers receivers.
13) Raiders- I present to you Sunday’s game as exhibit A of why the Raiders should not be taken seriously as AFC Contenders.
14) Broncos- Do not remember a non-Jets Pats regular season game I was more excited for than the Pats trip to Denver next Sunday night. Tim Tebow is asking all FFS owners to donate their winnings to the church.
15) Bengals- It feels like the Bengals should be able to go 3-1 down the stretch and take down the last AFC Wildcard. The only thing standing in their way? The fact they are the Bengals.
16) Titans- Similarly, it feels like the Titans can go 3-1 down the stretch but they lose the tiebreaker due to their loss versus Cincy. Nice to see CJ2K giving fantasy owners a playoff push.
17) Bears- If I’m Matt Forte, my 2011 season is done. The guy went and did everything the right way for 12 games but there is no reason to risk your future without any financial security after the way he’s played so far this season and what’s at stake with his knee.
18) Dolphins- A lot has been made about John Elway being in the uncomfortable position of having to start Tim Tebow next season but how uncomfortable is Stephen Ross right now about how Tony Sparano’s team has responded to him the last month? At the very least Sparano has guaranteed himself a shot as a retread head coach at some point.
19) Chargers- They likely knock off Buffalo next week setting up a long shot season saving game with Baltimore. But with Oakland likely losing in Green Bay this week and Denver facing the prospects of a Pats team coming in Week 15, stranger things have happened in the AFC West. (I can’t believe I just wrote that, can you tell the Chargers were my first round pick?.)
20) Bills- Hey, at least you have a talented, albeit gutless hockey team to root for this winter. I dropped the Bills for the Cardinals this week in hope of vulturing a few NFC West wins.
21) Seahawks- Slowly playing their way out of being able to draft a quality Quarterback. I’m sure Seattle fans are ready for another year with Black Joe Flacco.
22) Panthers- I think my head will explode every time people compare Robert Griffin III to Cam Newton. Yes, they are both black and both play QB and that’s pretty much where the comparisons end.
23) Eagles- If I had to choose one team to be able to run out the clock when down two scores, it would definitely be the Philadelphia Eagles.
24) Cardinals- All Jason Garrett jokes aside, this Cardinals defense has looked pretty good the last few weeks.
25) Redskins- You’d think with Trent Williams and Fred Davis doing steroids, the Redskins might be a little better.
26) Bucs- Remember when everyone complained about us ranking the Bucs way too low? That was fun.
27) Vikings- Sorry Christian Ponder, but you cannot get in the way of divine intervention.
28) Browns- @Pittsburgh, @Arizona, @ Baltimore, and home vs Pittsburgh the next four 4 weeks. Hello, 4-12.
29) Chiefs- Nice to see one lunatic fan base ruin another lunatic fan base’s season. Chiefs owners will also take the W.
30) Jaguars- When did Stringer Bell start coaching the Jaguars?
31) Rams- Mark my words, the 2012 St Louis Rams win the NFC West.
32) Colts- Who coaches the 2012 Colts?
Bobby F’s NFL Power Rankings
The playoff picture is starting to come into focus after 12 weeks. Three out of four divisions in the AFC are likely wrapped up (sorry Jesus) with the 2nd place team in the North taking the first Wildcard. The last AFC Wildcard spot will probably be a battle between the Jets and (gulp) the Bengals. In the NFC, the Giants will need to likely sweep the Cowboys (doable since you know, Tony Romo plays QB there) but the other three divisions are wrapped up with the Falcons, Bears and Lions fighting for two wild cards. In the mean time, we can start speculating on what “have not” coaches can be fired! On to the rankings:
1) Packers- If they can get through the next 2 weeks unscathed, 16-0 is probable. Meaningless fact of the week: Aaron Rodgers has never won a home playoff game.
2) Saints- If healthy on offense, the Saints present the biggest challenge to the Packers Super Bowl run. They likely don’t have the horses on defense to stop Green Bay but this could be a last team to get the ball wins type scenario. Of course, the Saints may have to do this in a -30 degree Lambeau Field so, it is probably not happening.
3) Ravens- Ray Lewis was quite personable before the NFL Network’s broadcast of the Ravens-49ers. I think we are seeing him grooming himself to be an on-air personality after his career would be over. It would only be fitting if he went to NBC although normally they hire their broadcasters before they kill someone.
4) Steelers- By virtue of beating them twice, it is natural to rank the Ravens ahead of the Steelers. At the same time after watching Sunday night’s game, I’m convinced that’s a game the Ravens find a way to lose this season.
5) Patriots- Bill Belichick deserves an A+ for the coaching effort week in, week out with this defense and the personnel he has on the field. At the same time, he deserves a D- as a GM when it comes to putting together this defense and the personnel situation they are in. Patriots FFS owners don’t care who is on defense as long as they keep getting Ws.
6) 49ers- I hope 49ers fans realize that Alex Smith and his noodle dick arm have 0 chance of winning a Super Bowl this year now.
7) Texans- T.J. Yates sounds a lot more like a crappy CBS Prime Time detective than he does an NFL Quarterback. I’m sure the Texans apologists will let us know something about him talent wise that we don’t know yet. Hey, let’s blame all those guys getting kicked off the Tar Heels last year on the reason why TJ Yates wasn’t in the national spotlight more.
Falcons- Pretty interesting matchup with the above mentioned Texans this week. Atlanta has been a pretty underwhelming team this year with the exception of a win in Detroit and a win at home over the Eagles in which they likely lose if Mike Vick doesn’t get hurt. For the Falcons to be taken seriously, they really need to show up this week.
9) Cowboys- When you win 5 out of 6 by beating the Rams, Seahawks, Bills, Redskins and Dolphins, you have to be taken seriously. Am I right?
10) Lions- The focus on the Lions right now should be the fact Matthew Stafford is playing wildly inconsistent each week. At this point, the Lions have by far and away the most difficult schedule of the three NFC Wildcard hopefuls down the stretch and their only hope is the Bears continue to get poor QB play.
11) Raiders- Want to neutralize Devin Hester? Just have Shane Lechler punting.
12) Jets- I’m glad we are rounding into the point of the season where Mark Sanchez tricks us into thinking that he might be a serviceable NFL QB and his fanboys try and make us forget about the first 12 weeks of each regular season. As a Jets FFS owner, there is still some faint hope.
13) Bears- Even with Caleb Hanie, the Bears should be able to take care of business at home versus the Chiefs and Seahawks. Sandwiched in between there? A date with Tim Tebow. Color me excited.
14) Giants- The injuries at some point this season had to catch up to them and it has been pretty evident the last three weeks (although they still never should have lost to Philly.) At the same time, I’m actually rooting for Big Blue to win in Week 14 in Dallas just so we can have a Week 17 game between the Giants and Cowboys for the NFC East.
15) Bengals- The Bengals were a Stevie Johnson drop away from being in the AFC Wildcard driver’s seat. Now it’s virtually a foregone conclusion that they likely either have to beat Baltimore or Pittsburgh to sneak into the playoffs. Best hope? Somehow Baltimore has playoff seeding locked in going into Week 17 and rests everyone.
16) Titans- The Titans are staying just frisky enough to be players in the AFC playoff chase. Additionally, their schedule down the stretch is pretty winnable minus the Saints. It just seems a little too weird to be saying “Titans” and “Wildcard” this season, doesn’t it? And to think some idiot in the power rankings picked them to win the AFC South.
17) Broncos- My biggest beef with the Tim Tebow era is the attention (or lack thereof) that the Broncos defense is getting on a week to week basis. By the way, have there ever been Two Epic Bro Quarterbacks more Epic than Tebow and Brady Quinn? I really want Quinn to come in relief and win a game just so Nintendo can make a video game called Super Epic Quarterback Brothers. FFS Bronco owners are firmly on the Tebow bandwagon
18) Eagles- I think DeSean Jackson is a microcosm of what this team is all about. Flashy and talented as hell, but lacking substance, heart and the ability to execute simple plays. The more I think about the Eagles situation the more I think Andy Reid leaves at the end of the season as ownership and him agree to part ways rather than him being fired. Question, wouldn’t Chargers fans kill for Andy Reid?
19) Bills- If Stevie Johnson could have caught that pass and dealt a deathblow to the Jets playoff hopes, his Plaxico Burress end zone dance would have been the stuff of legends. Why should we be surprised he dropped it though? This is the Bills after all. My Bills waiver wire pickup is not looking so hot anymore.
20) Dolphins- Another grand example of a team playing not to lose rather than to win at the end of the Dolphins-Cowboys game.
21) Chargers- Speaking of not playing to win, how does Norv Turner not start blowing timeouts at the end of that Broncos game on Sunday. If Prater misses, the Chargers could have had about a minute left on the clock and actually had a chance to win the game and keep their slimmest of slim playoff hopes alive. It will be nice to see Norv back at the offensive coordinator position for a team next season where he actually belongs.
22) Bucs- I’m not sure if I have ever seen TV personalities jump off someone’s jock like they have Raheem Morris this season. Last season they were fawning all over this guy, this year? Crickets. I’m sure FFS owners are not saying his praises either.
23) Panthers- Speaking of Norv, wouldn’t this make a lot of sense in Carolina with his connection to Rivera? I’m kind of intrigued by a Cam-Norv relationship.
24) Redskins- The Redskins, not quite relevant but just relevant enough to frustrate the hell out of you when it comes to gambling purposes.
25) Jaguars- The least attractive head coaching opening in the NFL this offseason. Unless the team moves to LA in which case, does it move to being the most attractive opening? Maybe if you believe in Blaine Gabbert?
26) Vikings- I’m sure you care that Adrian Peterson getting hurt will absolutely ruin my fantasy season.
27) Seahawks- When does Pete Carroll’s free ride end in Seattle? I mean, by next season they have to start calling for his head up there, right? It looked like I was going to steal a 4-0 week in my big league this week. Instead the Chargers and Seahawks choked down the stretch on me.
28) Cardinals- If the Cardinals actually had a Quarterback, they’d be pretty good this season, am I right?
29) Browns- I think guys like Matthew Berry piss all over themselves when you get a 3 headed running back monster like you have with the Browns right now, just so they have someone to put on their sit’em list.
30) Chiefs- Enjoy the Kyle Orton era my friends! Fearless prediction? Todd Haley, OC of the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets next season.
31) Rams- You’d think Steve Spagnulo would know better than punting to Patrick Peterson at this point. You would think.
32) Colts- Somehow I’m going to guess we are not getting an NFL Network Classic out of this year’s Pats-Colts game.
Bobby F’s NFL Power Rankings
Welcome to the Week 11 NFL Power Rankings. I am deeply saddened to learn about the devastating injury to Jay Cutler. After a year and a half of not believing in the Bears, I had finally jumped on the bandwagon. The good news Bears fans? I think you still make the playoffs and Cutler comes back this season making your injury significantly less devastating than the injury the Texans suffered with Matt Schaub. In keeping with years past, it’s a special Thanksgiving version of the power rankings in which I detail what every team should be thankful for:
1) Packers- Ted Thompson. Not many people would have the sack to rid themselves of the indecisive media whore mongering Hall of Famer Brett Favre. Then again, maybe Ted Thompson got a cell phone photo with Brett Favre’s sack in it and realized his was bigger.
2) Steelers- Bank Wires. Having to FedEx Overnight all those fines for dirty hits would get quite expensive.
3) 49ers- Jim Harbaugh. Let’s say the 49ers go 14-2 or 13-3 but the Packers go 16-0. Mike McCarthy has to be Coach of the Year, right?
4) Saints- Jimmy Graham. With all due respect to GRONK. The best tight end in football right now.
5) Ravens- Ray Rice. The only thing keeping the Ravens a Super Bowl contender is this dude. Really enjoying the Joe Flacco Apologist Era.
6) Patriots- UFL Contraction. I’m not sure how the Patriots could have any starting Cornerbacks otherwise.
7) Texans- The rest of the AFC South. The ineptitude of this division will still allow these guys to win a division with Matt Leinart at QB.
Lions- Tradition. Because God knows that’s the only thing that has kept the Lions on Thanksgiving day the past 15 years. I am just thankful that the Lions are a watchable football team again and we actually have a good game to start the day.
9) Cowboys- Mike Shanahan. Shanahan’s late game Zen moment to save the Cowboys from picking up a 15 yard penalty for calling a timeout they didn’t have pushed the Cowboys to a thrilling overtime victory and avoided Tony Romo getting his Chris Webber on.
10) Giants- Eagles Fans. If I were a Giants fan, the only thing that would have been made me remotely happy after that loss was the irony of Eagles fans talking a bunch of shit about their 4-6 football team that needed Vince Young to save the day. Pretty pathetic when the two highlights of your season are August and a Week 11 victory.
11) Falcons- Roddy White. Just imagine how good this receiving corps could be with a healthy Julio Jones, Roddy and the immortal Tony G. Too bad they are stuck with a mediocre QB for the next decade.
12) Bears- Matt Forte. With the way we’ve seen that big baby Peyton Hillis and that flashy douche Desean Jackson handle their contract situations this year, it’s refreshing to see someone actually play for a contract the right way.
13) Raiders- AFC West and the desire to find a sleeper. Got a good chuckle out of the so called experts saying the Raiders have what it takes to win in January. I guess they missed the memo that Carson Palmer is the Raiders starting Quarterback.
14) Bengals- Chromosome 16. I always thought this gene meant you were deficient in the ability to play football. Not so says Andy Dalton!
15) Eagles- LeSean McCoy. Given the Eagles QB play this year, where would they be without Shady? 2-8? 1-9?
16) Jets- New York Rangers. At least you will have something entertaining to watch in January this year.
17) Titans- Jake Locker. Tough spot for the Titans with this Schuab injury. On the one hand they are only two games out, on the other hand those two quarters of Jake Locker might have been the most entertaining quarters of Titans football this season. I say go with Locker the rest of the year and get him ready for 2012.
18) Chargers- Climate. I guess when you have beautiful weather 365 days a year it takes the attention off you having one of the most incompetent head coaches in NFL history and a perennially epic gutless football team year in, year out.
19) Broncos- Von Miller. The next Demarcus Ware, only better.
20) Dolphins- ? Honestly I couldn’t think of anything for the Dolphins to be thankful for. They were much better off sticking in the Suck for Luck race. Instead, you have another year of Matt Moore starting at QB to looking forward to.
21) Bills- Ryan Fitzpatrick’s contract. Oh wait, this things to be thankful for, not things you wish you could have taken back 72 hours later.
22) Seahawks- Marshawn Lynch. One of the few in season trades that you actually see workout for both teams. Marshawn leaving finally opened the door for Fred Jackson and Marshawn helped Seattle win a playoff game and his become one of the great #2/Flex options in fantasy this year.
23) Bucs- A healthy LaGarrette Blount. When the Bucs can be more than a one dimensional offense, they are a dangerous football team. When they are forced to have Josh Freeman throw the ball 35+ times a game and run with Kregg Lumpkin they are terrible. And let’s not even get started on how bad this defense is this year.
24) Vikings- Shared pain. With Adrian Peterson’s ankle injury coming right at a key point in the fantasy playoff push, AP owners can now share the pain of being a Vikings fan with everyone in Minnesota.
25) Cardinals- Patrick Peterson. Congratulations on having the closest thing since Deion Sanders in terms of a playmaking corner/return man. Good luck with Kevin Kolb being your starting QB.
26) Panthers- Cam Newton. Hard to believe we were comparing this guy to Jarmarcus just 3 months ago. Give Ron Rivera one more draft and one more season with this defense and Carolina will be a playoff team in 2012 with this potent offense.
27) Jaguars- Jack Del Rio’s accountability. Hey any time you have a chance to throw your Offensive Coordinator under the bus regarding a last minute loss, you have to do it.
28) Browns- Joe Haden. I guess I’ll try and find a positive about the Browns and that’s the fact they have a shut down corner to match up with AJ Green and Mike Wallace for the next decade. Unfortunately there is the whole matter of the other 21 starters you need on a football team.
29) Redskins- Ryan Kerrigan. I really think a few teams missed on this guy and with him and Brian Orakpo, the Redskins have the making of a quality defense. Unfortunately I wouldn’t want Rex Grossman or John Beck for my flag football team, let alone starting at QB in the NFL.
30) Chiefs- Increased average life expectancy. How else can you explain their Offensive Coordinator, Bill Muir, still being alive.
31) Rams- Justin Blackmon. Ok maybe it is too early to pencil this one in for sure, but they have to get Sam Bradford some more help, right?
32) Colts- Karma. Ok maybe this isn’t something for the Colts to be thankful about but the Colts being a couple years removed from having a chance to go 16-0 and pulling their starters to now having a realistic chance to go 0-16 is flat out awesome.
Bobby F’s Week 11 Power Rankings
These rankings are not getting easier. The NFC West went gangbusters on the Giants, Eagles and Ravens respectively. I’d mention the Browns but I’m not sure Cleveland has a football team anymore. Matt Schaub is out for the year (wait for the Brett Favre comeback rumors, I’m telling you right now) and Tim Tebow won a game by completing two more passes than Jesus did. Outside of slotting teams 1 and 32 it’s been a difficult year so far. Here’s the best guess:
1. Packers- It might be time to try putting in 9 defensive backs against Aaron Rodgers and see what happens. The Packers have become as reliable as your paycheck.
2. Steelers- Pittsburgh really went the Second Mile to win that game in Cincinnati.
3. 49ers- Easy win coming against Arizona before we watch the Ravens absolutely drill these guys on Thanksgiving Night Football.
4. Saints- I don’t like the crutches look on the sideline, somebody get Sean Payton a Rascal.
5. Ravens- One of the toughest teams to rank this year because they absolutely show up in every big game. Then they play a bad team and Cam Cameron tries to see if he can beat bad teams without Ray Rice. Does not make a lot of sense. Has to be a maddening season for Ravens owners who realize how much losing to bad teams costs them.
6. Patriots- Hard to imagine the Patriots finishing any worse than 6-1 down the stretch and locking in at 12-4. I expect the Steelers to finish with the same record leaving your AFC standings at 1. Steelers and 2. Patriots. HOWEVER, if the Ravens and Steelers were to tie at 12-4, the Ravens win that tiebreaker and New England would likely beat Baltimore in that tiebreaker situation. This would lock up the Patriots having the worst defense in history for a #1 seed. Man the AFC stinks this year.
7. Texans- A backup QB hasn’t caused this much damage control in Houston since Frank Reich. Better hope you have Titans insurance in your portfolio.
8. Giants- Tough to properly rank the Giants as well for the opposite version of what we have in the AFC, ridiculously tough schedule making their record weighted down. Still think they take the NFC East because the gap between Eli Manning and Tony Romo is as wide as the gap between Cowboys homers and reality.
9. Bears- About 2 spots too low at this point. I think the Bears would be more than capable of going into San Francisco and knocking off the Harbaugh’s.
10. Lions- Is it too far-fetched to think that Matt Millen kept his Lions job all those years because he was pimping Second Mile kids to someone in the Lions ownership?
11. Cowboys- DeMarco Murray, Cam Newton or Andy Dalton for Offensive Rookie of the Year?
12. Falcons- The math supports Mike Smith. Just saying. Small consolation for Falcons owners.
13. Jets- The balance of power in the AFC East has shifted to the Jets. HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh man, that’s funny.
14. Bengals- Sad to see AJ Green get hurt early in this one. Still, the Bengals certainly appeared to at least be able to hold their own with the Steelers and with the Jets loss Sunday, the Bengals have a legitimate chance to sneak in as the second wildcard now given the Jets in conference record.
15. Bills- Must win game in Miami for Buffalo this weekend as the Bills have come crashing down to earth. Just not enough quality players on the defensive side of the ball.
16. Titans- That week 17 game in Houston could very well determine the division now. Texans fans just threw up in their mouth.
17. Raiders- With all due respect to the Raiders, this division is atrocious. Impressive still that Oakland could go into San Diego and win without Darren McFadden.
18. Chargers- Norv Turner still having his head coaching job is the biggest joke in the NFL right now. Even more than Tim Tebow starting and throwing 8 passes a game. As a man that took the Chargers in Round 1 and the Texans in Round 2, it has not been a good week.
19. Eagles- When Andy Reid gets fired this season for the Eagles going 6-10, doesn’t he become the logical choice for Penn St head Coach? He’s a natural leader of young men. Just look at his parenting.
20. Bucs- Good to see that Albert Haynesworth will have a chance to mentor this young defense.
21. Seahawks- This is far too high when you realize that Sunday was the first time the Seahawks had a half time lead. Will take the garbage win from my 4th round squad though!
22. Broncos- Tim Tebow is doing for NFL offenses what Humphries-Kardashian did for the sanctity of marriage.
23. Vikings- Despite last night, I like what I see from Christian Ponder. Better the Vikings finish with a poor record and get another playmaker on the defensive side of the ball anyway.
24. Cardinals- Nice to see the Cardinals ruin whatever suicide pools were left remaining.
25. Panthers- Kind of feels like the Panthers are fading down the stretch after having an exciting start to the season. Cam Newton might be losing some motivation now that he’s realized he’s making less per game in the pros than he did in college.
26. Jaguars- As much as I like Christian Ponder, I might just be as underwhelmed with Blaine Gabbert. Sorry, I just don’t see it. Although that might just be because he’s named Blaine.
27. Dolphins- 2 wins in a row. It’s official, the Dolphins are so bad they can’t even get tanking right.
28. Chiefs- Excited to know that we are only a week or 2 away from Ricky Stanzi taking over the reins of this offense and likely being the 2012 Chiefs Opening Day QB.
29. Rams- Home dates versus the Cardinals and Seahawks coming up have the Rams on the brink of a 3 game winning streak!
30. Redskins- I imagine Redskins fans feel the same way about Beck vs. Grossman as I do about the Republican Presidential Candidate field. All we are missing is Jamarcus to sign here and play the role of Herman Cain.
31. Browns- Over half the Browns offense wouldn’t even make the Patriots or Packers practice squad at this point.
32. Colts- Reports surfaced this week that Jim Caldwell would have been Jerry Sandusky’s right hand man if Sandusky took the UVA head coaching job. Maybe whatever he saw during his time with Sandusky explains why he doesn’t blink. Probably time for Colts owners to declare bankruptcy.
Bobby Futon’s Week 10 Power Rankings
My Empire State of Mind FFS Portfolio looks awesome. In a 6 man/4 team league I have the Packers, Giants, Jets and Bills. That’s 24 and 8 baby! On to the rankings:
1. Packers- Every week this margin gets bigger and bigger. Green Bay is currently funding my January Vegas Trip
2. 49ers- This is way too high but the Ravens beating the Steelers and the collapse of the Patriots makes things at the top too confusing and 49ers get to #2 by default.
3. Ravens- Should be exciting to see Joe Flacco drop a 12 for 27, 154 yard, 2 pick dud in Seattle this week and have the Ravens D save him. When did the AFC become so mediocre?
4. Texans- The rankings confuse me this week: Houston beats Cleveland, Jacksonville and Tennessee and this qualifies them to be a top 5 team? Did I miss the memo that Gary Kubiak doesn’t coach them anymore? At the same time Texans FFS owners are not complaining. Quality wins pay the same as wins against bad teams.
5. Steelers- I wonder if Hines Ward can count to potato yet.
6. Saints- Saints vs Falcons is one of the more intriguing matchups of the week. Tough to tell what the identity of this Saints team is but a win in Atlanta would go a long way to figuring it out.
7. Lions- Speaking of statement games, the Lions rolling into Soldier Field ranks right up there on the schedule. The bet here is the Lions take care of business.
8. Giants- I never really wanted to see Super Bowl XLII again so thanks for that Tom Coughlin. By the way, can we add “hiding Jake Ballard” as another transgression against “Senator Tressell”
9. Patriots- Saving grace for Patriots fans right now? If they find away to beat the Jets the schedule runs out with KC, Philly, Indy, Washington, Denver, Miami and Buffalo.
10. Bears- Ahh Chicago vs Philly: that’s kind of like a Bob Futon Iran-Iraq War. Impressive win for Cutler and company last night. Lovie Smith owns Mike Vick. Bears FFS owners rejoice as they are back in the playoff hunt.
11. Jets- As much as the Patriots have sucked the last two weeks, they will find away to go into New York and beat the Jets. Guarantee it.
12. Falcons- Hard to explain how excited I am for a full second half of Julio Jones as my #3 Fantasy wideout
13. Bills- Had to be a pretty disappointing Sunday if you were a Bills fan, three game road stretch now comes up at Dallas, Miami and the Jets again. Not sure how they don’t lose 2 of those games.
14. Cowboys- Is there a better collection of talent in 2011 that consistently underwhelms you more than the 2011 Cowboys? Even in their wins they look like crap.
15. Bengals- Statement Game #4 of the week. The Bengals facing a real live NFL Quarterback this weekend. Bengals owners love their 4th round steal.
16. Eagles- Congratulations Pennsylvania, between Jerry Sandusky and Big Ben you’ve managed to make Mike Vick look like Nelson Mandela.
17. Chargers- Phillip Rivers 2011 Season: Finally something more pathetic in San Diego than the Padres. Chargers FFS owners continue to throw things at their TV.
18. Titans- Can the Titans start playing Jake Locker? I feel like this is a pretty boring football team to talk about short of making another comment about how big of a fantasy bust Chris Johnson is.
19. Bucs- Pretty disappointing season for the Bucs as they were not able to build upon home wins against Atlanta and New Orleans this season. Then again, hard to see a team that’s played a tougher NFC Schedule than Tampa.
20. Panthers- Anyone else hope that somehow Deangelo Williams would get arrested during the bye week so Jonathan Stewart could become a legitimate #2 fantasy option at running back?
21. Raiders- The talk of the Colts trading Peyton Manning if they got Luck and the Carson Palmer trade got me to thinking. If the Raiders had called the Patriots and offered something like 10 1st rounders for Tom Brady, what would Bill Belichick do?
22. Vikings- I think the Vikings give Green Bay a heck of a scare this week in Lambeau. I’m not willing to go as far as predicting an upset, but I’m thinking this one ends up being a 1 score game.
23. Chiefs- And back to reality for Kansas City and their FFS owners.
24. Seahawks- It’s the black Joe Flacco taking on the white Tarvaris Jackson this week. Only on CBS!
25. Jaguars- This is probably the best chance for a Colts victory to avoid an 0-16 season this week. I believe Jack Del Rio is not facing this challenge.
26. Redskins- Remember when Mike Shanahan was a good coach?
27. Cardinals- Patrick Peterson is the next Deion Sanders.
28. Broncos- This column > Tebow
29. Dolphins- The 2011 Dolphins are so bad they managed to screw up Suck for Luck.
30. Rams- I’m almost 100% sure Sam Bradford has wet dreams about getting Justin Blackmon.
31. Browns- One resident Cowboys homer that will remain nameless told me Colt McCoy would be the next Tom Brady.
32. Colts- Draft Luck and Trade Peyton? In 8 man 4 teams leagues, it’s going to be a rough Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza for Colts FFS owners.
Bob Futon’s Power Rankings
How strange was Week 8 in the NFL? We saw Andy Reid have better game management than Bill Belichick. We had a Cowboys game where they lost because of their defense and not Tony Romo and we now have an AFC West led by the Kansas City Chiefs who now have home games coming against Miami and Denver. All the season is missing is a little Jarmarcus Russell at this point- on to the rankings:
1. Packers- The gap between 1 and 2 in the power rankings this week actually increased. It might take a 3 game losing streak to knock Green Bay out of the top slot at this point.
2. Steelers- Big Ben looks great IN the pocket this season and the defense is rounding into form. Question: If the Steelers young wideouts call themselves Young Money, does that make Heath Miller Vanilla Ice or Bubba Sparks?
3. Patriots- During the BB era I can now point to two games that I pin solely on him. 1) The Buffalo season opening loss when they cut Lawyer Milloy a week before the season and 2) Last week’s abysmal showing in Pittsburgh. Worst of all was the lack of a challenge on Gronkowski’s touchdown that would have saved the Pats two minutes and allowed them to kick the ball down the field. Apparently Coach Belichick went as Andy Reid for Halloween.
4. Ravens- Interesting game in Pittsburgh this week. Personally I think the Ravens get drilled by about 20. I’d probably place your bets on the Ravens now based on this advice.
5. 49ers- If the 49ers can split the next two games versus the NFC East, we are looking at a very real chance of the 9ers having a bye in the first round of the playoffs. Blatant comment to get people riled up this week: if Alex Smith and Aaron Rodgers had switched spots on draft day, Alex Smith would have more Super Bowl Rings than Rodgers.
6. Saints- If you ever want a definition of a trap game, you saw it this past weekend in St Louis. Back to back division tilts for the Saints before their bye. The guess here is the Saints right the ship pretty quickly to reclaim control of the South.
7. Texans- Right now I have my top 5 Running Backs as 1. AP 2. Arian Foster 3. Matt Forte 4. Ray Rice 5 LeSean McCoy. Coming in at 107th? Chris Johnson.
8. Lions- What’s the confession penance for Tebowing Tim Tebow? Has to be at least 10 Hail Marys
9. Bills- Sometimes I feel like I’m reaching in this column for comments. Then I watched the Bills-Redskins game this past weekend and they actually start comparing Ryan Fitzpatrick to Zach Galifianakis. At least I don’t claim to be a professional.
10. Giants- Brandon Jacobs is severely disappointed about his lack of carries this year and wants out of New York. The good news is he has a nice fast ass car being delivered today: http://thebiglead.com/index.php/2011/10/31/brandon-jacobs-continues-to-be-a-non-factor-but-fortunately-i-got-a-fast-ass-car-being-delivered-on-tuesday/
11. Jets- I never thought I’d be so excited to watch a Jets Bills tilt but this Sunday has major playoff and division implications. If one assumes that the Ravens or Steelers take 1 Wild Card that leaves the three AFC East teams to scrap for two playoff spots. A loss to Buffalo would the Jets two games behind the Bills and in serious trouble when it comes every tiebreaker scenario. Pretty much a must win for the Jets in Buffalo this weekend.
12. Eagles- I thought we’d see PETA name Michael Vick as its Man of the Year prior to seeing Andy Reid get two challenges right in one game.
13. Cowboys- I guess the Cowboys went as the Colts Defense for Halloween. At least you have the Rangers World Series Parade this week……. Too soon?
14. Bears- Boy I hope Jerry Angelo continues not to pay Matt Forte. Then he can say he will never play for the Bears again and then they can trade him for a couple of high draft picks and we can have the reincarnations of Rashaan Salaam and Curtis Enis walking through that door.
15. Falcons- I’m stilling selling Matty Ice this season and I’m still selling the Falcons.
16. Chargers- This is a gutless football team with a Scarecrow for a Head Coach and if you still don’t realize that after last night’s game you should probably stop watching the NFL.
17. Titans- Time to put Chris Johnson on the back of Milk Cartons in Tennessee.
18. Raiders- Prediction: The Carson Palmer Era in Oakland lasts 9 weeks and Jason Campbell is their starting QB next year regardless of the price they paid for Palmer.
19. Bengals- The record indicates they should be higher but look at the QBs they have beaten at this point: McCoy, Fitzpatrick, Gabbert, Not Peyton Manning and Tavarlie Jackhurst. Only Galifianakis on there is any good.
20. Chiefs- Hard to believe the 1st place Chiefs are only 20th, but the next two weeks should see them claim somewhere between 12 and 15.
21. Bucs- Really interesting stretch for the Bucs here with a road game versus the Saints, home against Houston and away at Green Bay. Hard to see the Bucs being any better than 5-5 at that point and 4-6 is a distinct possibility.
22. Panthers- Probably the most disappointing loss of the year so far for the Panthers.
23. Vikings- Vikings fans have gone from being disappointed to not being in “Suck for Luck” to now actually be excited about a future involving Christian Ponder and AP. Now if their Cornerbacks could try and avoid some felonies, they’d be golden.
24. Redskins- In the Redskins defense, they thought they’d be playing CFL rules prior to the game.
25. Jaguars- I think it speaks volumes to how bad the bottom quarter of the NFL is this year that the Jaguars could be at the top of it.
26. Cardinals- I can’t tell if I’m more sold on how good Patrick Peterson is or how bad Kevin Kolb might be.
27. Browns- Lebron James has a better chance of winning a title for a Cleveland team than Colt McCoy does.
28. Seahawks- I really enjoyed Pete Caroll’s clock management at the end of the first half this week. Hey if you are on the 3 with 10 seconds left and no timeouts, you definitely run the football.
29. Rams- Well done by the Rams. By putting on their retro uniforms they tricked the Saints into playing like they did in the 80s.
30. Broncos- Their best QB is Tebow and their best receiver is Decker. All we need them to do is trade back for Peyton Hillis and I’ll be ready to take the Broncos to win an Ivy League Title.
31. Dolphins- If Dolphins fans I’m ecstatic, you beat the Giants for 3 quarters and then keep pace with the Colts for Andrew Luck. I look forward to the Dolphins blatantly tanking games down the stretch followed by Roger Goodell sending powerful messages about how known tanking will cost teams draft picks.
32. Colts- Man on Fire 2 starring Reggie Wayne will be in theaters March of 2012
Bobby F’s Week 8 Power Rankings
Hard to get excited for a Power Ranking Column after last night’s Monday Night Football game:
1. Packers- The best chance that someone other than the Packers winning the NFC this season? Aaron Rodgers continuing to scramble when he should throw the ball away.
2. Patriots- So about the Ravens being the best team in the AFC……
3. Saints- Sean Payton- All Madden. Jim Caldwell- Atari Football
4. 49ers- Hard to believe Alex Smith is this high in the rankings but we just let Joe Flacco be there for 6 weeks and he’s a poor man’s Trent Dilfer at best.
5. Steelers- Impressive road win during a trap game in Arizona. The big question is whether they can finally beat New England with Tom Brady (they’ve only done it once.) The loss of Aaron Smith looms large. Ziggy Hood is an adequate replacement but guys like Smith can be the difference versus elite teams like the Patriots.
6. Ravens- Look, I could understand that trap game but between last night and Tennessee, I have a real hard time believing that even with this defense we can take the Ravens as Super Bowl contenders seriously. Joe Flacco is one more bad performance to moving into Cutler territory in this column. Ravens owners have to be in shock after losing a guaranteed point.
7. Giants- Since Giants fans are uber-sensitive, I decided to give a week off on commentary for them.
8. Jets- Over the last 3 years has any team won more games that they should have lost than the Jets? And then conversely, has any team lost more games they should have won than the Chargers?
9. Cowboys- Bad News? Having to listen to Cowboy homers proclaim DeMarco Murray as the new anointed one. Good News? No longer have to hear claims about Felix Jones being the chosen one.
10. Bills- Trap game alert this weekend with Washington coming to town and the Bills hosting the Jets the following weekend. Hopefully for Bills fan, the bye assures them that they care of business. Bills owners are a win away from meeting what many people thought would be their season win total.
11. Chargers- I would like to take back my proclamation that Philip Rivers would be MVP this season. He looks awful, and I’m beginning to the think there is a health issue there we don’t know about.
12. Texans- One of the more impressive wins of the Kubiak effort. Sure it was a mediocre Titans team but this isn’t the first time the Texans have flat out dominated the line of scrimmage in a game this season, something we have rarely seen in prior years before Wade Phillips. Texans owners have to be happy the bleeding has stopped
13. Falcons- Kudos to the win but demerits for calling out Suh after the game. Settle it on the field you Charlie Villenueva wannabes.
14. Lions- Unfortunately for the Lions it seems like they quickly read their own press clippings and the last two weeks have shown it. A must win game for them in Mile High going into the bye. Sadly for the Lions we already know that God hates Detroit and his son is starting at QB for the Broncos, so I think you gotta pick Denver in this one.
15. Bears- Quite frankly I think 10-15 are pretty interchangeable at this point and I just ranked the Bears last in this group because I enjoy the sound of “rabble, rabble, rabble”
16. Raiders- Gotta hand it to Carson Palmer and his ability to mentor another QB. Kyle Boller goes in and sucks and Carson comes in and shows Boller how to suck on a whole new level. In fairness to Palmer, we probably should give him more than 3 days with the playbook.
17. Eagles- The bye week should give the Eagles some time to regroup. Last I looked they still had an offensive line coach running their defense.
18. Bucs- Josh Freeman would like to thank Joe Flacco for taking some heat of him in that “which young QB looks like he is regressing the most this season”
19. Titans- The dream is over Chris Johnson owners. So might be the Titans status as a Franchise fantasy sleeper.
20. Bengals- All it took was the other GM dying for Mike Brown to get the best of someone.
21. Panthers- Probably too low at this point with the way Cam Newton is playing. Every time it looks like you can hand over the keys to Jonathan Stewart for the full time running back job (and fantasy stud status) he has a backbreaking fumble.
22. Redskins- The loss of Santana Moss upgrades Jabar Gaffney to legitimate fantasy sleeper for bye weeks to fill that 3rd receiver slot.
23. Chiefs- Have to congratulate the Chiefs on grinding out 3 wins in a row after it looked like they could be in the Luck Sweepstakes. Now they have a 3 game stretch at home with San Diego, Miami and Denver. If the Chiefs somehow beat the Chargers at Arrowhead, they could control their destiny in the AFC West. Only in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Chiefs owners might not have their house foreclosed on this season after all.
24. Cardinals- When the play by play announcers are talking about one of your challenges being “how much film you need to watch” you probably don’t feel too good about your starting QB.
25. Browns- I’ve found CSPAN Budget Congressional Hearings more interesting than the Seahawks-Browns game this past week.
26. Jaguars- Can someone do the math on whether or not Josh Scobee kicking that field goal in the last 2 minutes was the correct play or not? Obviously the result worked out but I’m curious when you factor in what the % of the kick is, the difference in field position, etc, etc where we end up on this.
27. Seahawks- “Really missed Tavaris Jackson” were not words I ever expected to write in this column. As a 4th round Seattle owner, I can honestly say I would have enjoyed lighting money on fire better than watching that game.
28. Vikings- Was way more impressed with Christian Ponder this past weekend than I thought I would be. Maybe the Vikings aren’t as screwed long term as I thought they’d be.
29. Broncos- The new Brett Favre in terms of media saturation everybody.
30. Rams- What’s the ceiling for Arian Foster versus these guys in two weeks? 300 yards rushing?
31. Colts- I still think the Dolphins suck more.
32. Dolphins- Stephen Ross is playing Chess while everyone else is playing checkers in Suck for Luck. Florida National Championship Day when Tebow is there? Brilliant
